Spirituality

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The 6 Best Spiritual Teachings of Wayne Dyer To Help Us Get Over Ourselves

Published by Elephant Journal ~ January 11, 2017

It was six months after I separated from my ex-husband that I met Wayne Dyer for the first time.

He spoke at a World Summit in Pasadena, California and I was absolutely transfixed from the moment he stepped on stage.

Wayne was powerful beyond measure, as anyone familiar with his work knows. He had a candid, no nonsense way about him and infused some of the most profound teachings I heard that day with a heaping dose of humor.

I didn’t realize until recently, while poring through a journal of notes from his workshop, how his spiritual teachings have become a part of who I am today. They helped me release old patterns of behavior that had created anguish in my life and taught me the proper way to love somebody.

With that, I share with you the six most impactful teachings this brilliantly insightful and inspiring man shared with thousands of people that day. These are the ones that transformed me from the broken-hearted, shattered woman I was at that moment in my life into the strong, compassionate and empowered woman I believe I am today:

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We Choose Whether To Accept Someone As They Are Or Walk Away

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~ QUOTE BY MARK GROVES ~
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Part of opening ourselves up to love means being vulnerable and letting people in. In doing this, we take the risk of getting hurt.

None of us who have deeply and passionately loved another person has gotten off scott free from having our hearts broken and our lives turned upside down by being so vulnerable.

I’ve gone through my own share of losses and my life being dismantled like anyone else and what I’ve learned is this….

You can focus on the loss or you can focus on the task of rebuilding your life.

You can focus on the hurt or your can focus on the healing.

You can focus on how unfairly you were treated or dismissed or betrayed or you can focus on the red flags & signposts you missed so that you can recognize them the next time someone else walks into your life that you are considering opening your heart to.

WE CHOOSE. We CHOOSE the lessons we take from the experience and how we can learn from the heartache.

We CHOOSE what kind of people and behavior from those people are acceptable in our lives moving forward.

We CHOOSE to not allow anyone or anything cause us to just shut down, push people away and run from something else in the future that might bring us the happiness we deserve.

The answer is in simply being more discerning about who we open our hearts to in the future. Because we are all so deserving of love. And we teach people how to treat us.

So REBUILD. Keep your heart OPEN. GROW yourself from the pain. And TRUST that the Universe has something better for you in the most Divine timing.

Use These 7 TED Talks to Inspire, Heal & Find Your Path.

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TED, which stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design, contributes some of the most inspirational videos on the internet.

And speakers having a time limit of 18 minutes, those bits of inspiration come in small but mighty packages.

For me, TED Talks have become a fun way to pass the time during my morning and evening commute. I feel like I’m expanding and growing myself every day by listening to other people’s stories of hardship, hard-won triumphs, life lessons and discoveries, instead of just zoning out while sitting in the relentless traffic of the L.A. freeways.

On particularly challenging days, when I feel I need that kick in the ass, I re-listen to the ones that moved and inspired me.

With that, I present to you some of the TED Talks that have not just inspired me by changing my mind about long-held judgments and beliefs, but have similarly impacted millions of others:

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The Apology That Never Comes, How to Find Closure & Move On

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Love becomes a lot easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got. ~ Robert Brault

Saying, “I’m sorry. I was wrong.” is not easy for people.

We all believe that we’re right about whatever the particular situation is and the other person was wrong in whatever injustice we believe they committed.

So both parties often walk away, not uttering anything that resembles regret over what’s happened and holding fast to their own belief that they have no reason to apologize.

For most of us, it is not until some time passes that we can own and accept our part in a fight, disagreement or breakup that caused a lot of pain. And by that time, the moment for apologizing seems to have passed its due date, so we never reach out to actually issue the apology to the person who rightfully deserves it.

There are many reasons we don’t reach out and apologize to the people we’ve hurt. I recently talked to a bunch of my friends and colleagues and asked them what has held them back from apologizing to someone they knew deserved one from them. These are the things that unanimously held them back:

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The 6 Best Spiritual Teachings of Wayne Dyer To Get Over Yourself

art-eye-spiritual-seasons

It was six months after I separated from my ex that I met Wayne Dyer for the first time.

He spoke at a World Summit in Pasadena, California and I was absolutely transfixed from the moment he stepped on stage.

Wayne was powerful beyond measure, as anyone familiar with his work knows. He had a candid, no nonsense way about him and infused some of the most profound teachings I heard that day with a heaping dose of humor.

I didn’t realize until recently, while poring through a journal of notes from his workshop, how his spiritual teachings have become a part of who I am today. They helped me release old patterns of behavior that had created anguish in my life and taught me the proper way to love somebody.

With that, I share with you the six most impactful teachings this brilliantly insightful and inspiring man shared with thousands of people that day. These are the ones that transformed me from the broken-hearted, shattered woman I was at that moment in my life into the strong, compassionate and empowered woman I believe I am today:

Continue reading

One Thing To Let Go of in 2017 To Improve All Our Relationships

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I hear you say you know little of love.

I listen to your regret over hurting someone from your past.

I feel your shame and guilt for not owning what was yours.

Maybe you couldn’t bring yourself to say, “I think I might love you.”

Maybe you refused to admit, “I’m sorry that what I did or said hurt you.”

Maybe you just weren’t able to be fully honest with yourself or another person regarding why your friendship or relationship ended, because having that particular conversation would mean taking responsibility for things—and it might feel profoundly uncomfortable for those 20 or 30 minutes.

And the truth is, some of us would rather face a lifetime of regret than feel the least bit uncomfortable or exposed.

We’d rather not have another person know our true feelings for them or what they mean to us, because we’re too scared to risk the possibility that they may not feel the same.

We’d rather be right than admit any wrongdoing for a fight we had or the devastation we caused in another person’s life, because admitting we were wrong might tarnish our own reputation or make us look bad.

We’d rather go to our graves having never mended fences with our mother or father or children or siblings, because we can’t let go of the past and it’s more important for us to be right—to hold onto our anger and resentment and righteousness—than to make the slightest move toward forgiveness.

Here’s what I believe ruins every good relationship—not just romantic, but friendships and family relationships and quite frankly every damn relationship we will ever have in our lives:

Our egos.

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7 Ways To Stop Breaking Your Own Heart

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How many times have we said out loud, “He/she broke my heart,” or “It breaks my heart when…”?

The truth is: we break our own hearts.

This is a painful truth to face.

I’ve lost count how many times my own heart has been broken. I could argue that the breaking of my heart was done to me by another person. I could easily make myself the victim of my stories of heartache and loss. But I’ve come to realize that in each situation, I had a choice. And my choices were the cause of many broken hearts.

I am in no way suggesting that we won’t sometimes have our heart broken by another person when we do everything right, even when we make the best choices for ourselves. Because that’s part of life. Our hearts are fragile and vulnerable to the actions of others.

But there are things we all do that lead to heartbreak and I think awareness of some of these things can possibly spare all of us from breaking our own damn hearts in the future.

1. Don’t have expectations. I know this is like saying go into a five-star restaurant and don’t expect the food to be good. Of course we expect the food to be good…it’s a five-star restaurant!

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Be Grateful for the Chaos..

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Four years ago on this Thanksgiving, my life was in chaos. Those close to me know what I was going through. A new baby, a devastated heart and a whole lot of uncertainty. To say it was a shitty time in my life would be an understatement.

The next year wasn’t that much better. In fact looking back I think it was even worse than the year before. That was the first year I wasn’t with my kids for a holiday and the pain cut way deeper than I ever let on to anyone.

I try not to talk too much about the chaos of the past. Or the pain. Or the deep wounds that still exist inside of me and probably always will because of it.  It tends to make people uncomfortable. But I’m talking about it today for a reason.

Even then…4 years ago, 3 years ago… when my life felt to me as if it couldn’t get any worse, I was grateful. Because when your life is hard, when your health has taken a nosedive or you have a parent who is dying or you’ve just lost your job, or you’re going through a divorce or someone very close to you has stopped speaking to you out of the blue and you have no idea why…. people SHOW UP.

Right? Do you remember a time in your life when this was happening and you were in awe of how the people in your life whether they be family, friends, co-workers or people who were just acquaintances… they showed UP?  They held you and supported you and loved on you in ways you had never experienced in your life?

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Worrying About Shit Is A Sure Fire Way to Lose

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This week another round of layoffs happened at my company. Although we were expecting it, the emotional impact has been unwieldy.

People are worried. Sick to their stomach worried. How are they going to live? What if they can’t afford to send their kids to college next year? What if they can’t find another job?  What if, what if, what if?

I’m one of the lucky ones. I haven’t been laid off yet. I say yet because I’m prepared. I’ve already accepted it as if it’s happening sometime in the future and I’ve made the decision that I’m not going to worry about it or expect the worst if it does.  I’ve spent half my life worrying about things that never actually happened.

And the one thing that did… I survived it. And all that worrying about it possibly happening didn’t make it any less painful or shitty when I went through it.

So here’s what I’ve learned….

It’s just not worth it to worry about things we have no control over.

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How To Not Be An Asshole

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Almost a year ago, I met this amazing woman Jennifer Pastiloff. I attended her New Year’s Manifestation Retreat in Ojai and it was pretty friggin’ awesome and I can also say almost a year later, had a way bigger impact on me than I thought.

Jen is well-known for a phrase we used to say a lot in Jersey growing up…

Don’t be an asshole.

I LOVE that she’s built a following on preaching this in her workshops and on social media because people can be real assholes. And I mean, there’s just no need for it.

I do not claim to be perfect. I’m pretty open about the fact that I can be a total BY-ATCH at times when I get triggered. I know I have a reputation for telling it like it is and sometimes doing it in a very no-bullshit “I’m not gonna sugar-coat this” kind of way, but I’m not an asshole.

I’ve learned from the best ones out there what constitutes just straight up assholeness and I just won’t do it. Cause it sucks.