Know Thy Worth or You’re Gonna Be Miserable

October 10, 2022

If I’m honest, it took me until almost age 50 to know I am worthy of a whole lot more than I’ve accepted in the past and no thank you, I don’t want what you’re offering Karen.

This goes for everything in my life. Who is worthy of my time? What is worthy of my energy? Is this worth my money? Are you worthy of my heart?

So I’m passing on the lesson because ya all need to hear it. Know thy worth for fuck sake!

Know your worth at your job. Know your worth inside a relationship. Know your worth with your kids. And know your worth out in the world.

Don’t accept less when you know damn well you’re worth a whole lot more.

For most of my life, I took whatever was offered to me. “Oh you want to let me work for you? Well YES.. thankyouverymuch. Of course!” I didn’t care if it was something I even wanted to be doing. I felt honored to be chosen.

Just so I’m not misleading, I want to be clear… I’ve been offered some pretty fabulous things in my lifetime. Job opportunities, salaries aligned with my experience, relationships aligned with my soul. They were worthy of me. And I of them.

But then there were the other times…. the times I wasn’t in a great place.

Maybe I was down on myself because I had been rejected by someone or I had a lost my confidence because I was out of work for a period of time. Those times, I lost sight of my worth.

I accepted breadcrumbs because I was hungry. I told myself, “this is better than nothing,” and then felt resentful later when I felt taken advantage of.

I remember a few years ago I got a job offer to work as a Results Coach for Tony Robbins. If you don’t know who Tony Robbins is, he’s one of the most influential (and wealthiest) personal development coaches and entrepreneurs in the world, a NY Times bestselling author, philanthropist, and the nation’s #1 life & business strategist.

And I was chosen to be one of his coaches. I mean, I thought I had died and gone to “I made it” Heaven.

I was so blinded by the opportunity and his big name that when they told me how much they wanted to pay me, I let the small voice within me screaming, “What the actual fuck?” to be silenced.

They were only going to pay me how much? For my level of experience? When they were a multi-million dollar conglomerate? Oh, and they wanted me to shell out $5K to go through their Coaches’ training program.

Hell no. But guess what?

I said yes.

I know, what’s wrong with me right? But like I said, I was hungry. And those breadcrumbs they were throwing my way looked tempting if not meager.

I was questioning my worth at that moment in my life. Maybe I’m only worth that much money. Maybe I’m not worthy of working for someone that big and renowned? Maybe I should just feel honored to be chosen.

Until a woman whose Woman’s Accomplishment Group workshop I was taking at the time said to me, “No. You cannot take that job. You’re worth so much more.”

I was devastated. And conflicted.

“Why?” I asked her, “It’s a great opportunity! It’s Tony Robbins!” Plus I had been trying to get out of the entertainment industry for years and work full time as a coach. This was the opportunity I had been waiting for.

“Are you kidding,” she said. “That rate is insulting! You’re an experienced coach and should be getting paid triple that. And the kind of coaching he does…. I mean that’s not even you. You’ll hate it. It’s not who you are and you’re worth way more than that.”

So, I turned it down. The head coach there was not happy with me for pulling out after I accepted the offer. She especially did not like that I questioned the pay. I felt like a naughty little girl.

And because of that, I second guessed that decision for the next 3 years of my life. Why didn’t I take the breadcrumbs? Maybe it would have become a fully baked cake. Maybe I would have eventually started making more money. Maybe, maybe maybe….

Fast forward 4 years later. I was approached by another Coach with a thriving business who needed someone like me who did the kind of coaching I’m brilliant at… dating and relationship coaching. She pays me 5 times what Tony Robbins offered me. And you know what?

I’m worth it.

This isn’t about just money though. This is about knowing your worth around every single thing in your life.

Is something or someone worth your time?

Is that person worth your tears?

Is giving in and doing that thing you’ve agreed to worth the stress?

Is she worthy of your love? Is he worthy of your heart?

You can feel in your body whether something feels aligned with your worth. Only you can place a value on that. You determine the value of your time, of your heart, of your body, of your energy. You determine whether something or someone is deserving of what you bring to the table.

What is it right now that you’re doing, accepting or allowing that is simply not aligned with your worth?

Then choose different.

Take yourself out of the equation. Don’t be an option to someone when you make them a priority.

Quit the job if you’re miserable. Say peace out if you’re highly underpaid and go find a better job. My neighbor just did this and she is so much happier. I watched her light up telling her story yesterday at the football field and I wanted to high five her for valuing herself so much.

Take the risk. Choose yourself. You’re worth it.

Free yourself up to receive the thing that is truly worthy of you.

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