7 Ways To Stop Breaking Your Own Heart ~ Elephant Journal

December 12, 2016

How many times have we said out loud, “He/she broke my heart,” or “It breaks my heart when…”?

The truth is: we break our own hearts.

This is a painful truth to face.

I’ve lost count how many times my own heart has been broken. I could argue that the breaking of my heart was done to me by another person. I could easily make myself the victim of my stories of heartache and loss. But I’ve come to realize that in each situation, I had a choice. And my choices were the cause of many broken hearts.

I am in no way suggesting that we won’t sometimes have our heart broken by another person when we do everything right, even when we make the best choices for ourselves. Because that’s part of life. Our hearts are fragile and vulnerable to the actions of others.

But there are things we all do that lead to heartbreak and I think awareness of some of these things can possibly spare all of us from breaking our own damn hearts in the future.

1. Don’t have expectations. I know this is like saying go into a five-star restaurant and don’t expect the food to be good. Of course we expect the food to be good…it’s a five-star restaurant!

But our expectations of the exact experience we must have with someone or something are what lead to the disappointment and heartbreak, not the actual experience itself.

This is so hard not to do but I promise that if you have expectations of a person, situation or relationship, you’re going to break your own heart. Go into everything with no attachment to the outcome. Allow things to unfold into what they are meant to be. We may be disappointed by the experience or let down that it’s not what we had hoped for, but our chances of actually being heartbroken are a whole lot less.


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