I hear you say you know little of love.
I listen to your regret over hurting someone from your past.
I feel your shame and guilt for not owning what was yours.
Maybe you couldn’t bring yourself to say, “I think I might love you.”
Maybe you refused to admit, “I’m sorry that what I did or said hurt you.”
Maybe you just weren’t able to be fully honest with yourself or another person regarding why your friendship or relationship ended, because having that particular conversation would mean taking responsibility for things—and it might feel profoundly uncomfortable for those 20 or 30 minutes.
And the truth is, some of us would rather face a lifetime of regret than feel the least bit uncomfortable or exposed.
We’d rather not have another person know our true feelings for them or what they mean to us, because we’re too scared to risk the possibility that they may not feel the same.
We’d rather be right than admit any wrongdoing for a fight we had or the devastation we caused in another person’s life, because admitting we were wrong might tarnish our own reputation or make us look bad.
We’d rather go to our graves having never mended fences with our mother or father or children or siblings, because we can’t let go of the past and it’s more important for us to be right—to hold onto our anger and resentment and righteousness—than to make the slightest move toward forgiveness.
Here’s what I believe ruins every good relationship—not just romantic, but friendships and family relationships and quite frankly every damn relationship we will ever have in our lives: