When most of us get out of a long term relationship, we’re not always ready to leap back into something so quickly.
In fact, I advise anyone who will listen to me to not jump from one relationship to the next without spending some real, quality time alone.
Because there’s a period of time we all need to “mourn” the loss of the last relationship and a period of time that we need to take a good look at ourselves so we can own what went wrong and what our part in it might have been.
And as much as we’d like to believe (if we were the one who ended the last relationship) that we aren’t bringing any issues into the next one, the reality is, this simply isn’t true.
We weren’t happy. And since happiness is an inside job, we need to figure out what does make us happy.
For the 4 years I have been single, I’ve dated a lot but have definitely not been remotely close to opening my heart to anyone again. The sheer terror of getting hurt and being heartbroken again was so overwhelming, the minute I felt any real emotion with anyone, I put up a wall and then ran in the opposite direction like a bat outta hell.
By the way, that’s a clear sign that you are not ready to be in a relationship—in case there were any questions about that.
But somewhere in this past six months of truly being alone…and doing some major work on my heart, I realized with no small amount of trepidation that I actually might really be ready to love someone again if the right person came along. I admitted this as I sat in a Yoga/Manifestation retreat over New Year’s because I realized for the first time, I actually wasn’t scared anymore.
I was actually open…
How do you get there and how do you know you might actually be ready? Everybody’s process is different but these were some of the questions I asked myself and were able to answer with a resounding yes: